Monday, December 12, 2011

An idiot’s guide to the UP Oblation Run

NAKED men in masks! Angry protesters waving banners! Bunches of blood-red roses! Throngs of screeching women! What more can you ask for?

To wide-eyed freshmen and curious outsiders, the UP Oblation Run sounds like the best thing since sliced bread, but what actually happens during the event is a lot less exciting than news reports make it out to be?if anything that involves nude men can be considered unexciting.

But who are we to spoil your fun? If watching a bunch of masked naked men amble through a crowd sounds like your thing, make sure you?re ready for it. Here?s 2bU?s guideline for maximizing the UP Oblation Run experience?if you?re ready, visit the campus at noontime on Dec. 17. Come with an open mind, and remember that malice is all in the mind!

Grab the perfect spot
Contrary to popular belief, UP students aren?t overliberated sex fiends who just want to watch men jiggle their bats and balls in the cool December air. There are also plenty of overliberated, sex-crazed outsiders who want in on the show.
Kidding aside, the UP Oblation Run is actually a proud university tradition that began in 1977 when the members of APO fraternity protested against Marcos?s banning of the film, ?Hubad Na Bayani.?
How to grab a prime spot? Park yourself in the AS Lobby (Palma Hall) three hours before the show begins at noontime to get the front row (standing room). You?ll seem like a sex fiend or repressed virgin, but that?s the price you pay for unobstructed view.

What to do when you?re late
If you can?t skip class to get a prime spot, bring something you can stand on?a stool or stack of books. This will let you see over the shoulders of the giggling, worked-up freshmen who have been camping out the whole morning.

If you?re not satisfied with the foot-tall height advantage a stool offers, find a sturdy-looking friend who will let you sit on his shoulders. Not only will you snag an aerial view, you might also land on the evening news (headline: Oblation Run gathers sex fiends and maniacs of all ages).

Bluff your way to the front
Keep in mind that the AS Lobby isn?t the only vantage point. An hour before the run finishes, the place will be packed with giddy students and toothless old ladies who make it a point to see the Run every year. Don?t be daunted by the throng?bluff your way to the front.

You can pretend either to be a martial (shout with authority, wear black and furrow your brow) or that you?re just passing through minutes before the show. When the boys start running, press your body into the throng and throw an apologetic look at the freshman who?s sure to be first in line.

If this is against your code of ethics, drop the idea of watching in the AS Lobby and just wait by the pavement, where the van of naked frat men unloads them. Make sure you keep a decent distance?you wouldn?t want to be charged with harassment.

Get yourself on TV
The Oblation Run is a big media event. For some, it?s a chance to see yourself on the
six o?clock news. Up your chance of a TV cameo by bringing a few props?like a banner. Since activists take advantage of big crowds, it?s not uncommon to see protesters waving banners.

You can either join them and inch your way to the front, or make your own. Hold up a banner??I love you, Oblation Runners!? ?I?m joining the Oblation Run next year? is another.

You can try other gimmicks?wear a full Santa Claus outfit, pole dance in the lobby, or scream, ?Ang ganda-ganda! I watch every year!? before a TV camera. Fainting as the boys pass by works, too.

How to embarrass the runners
If you ever wonder if people blush only up to their cheeks or turn red all over, this is the time to find out. While the runners are doing their thing, shout random common names for guys and see if any of them turns around in recognition.
Names such as Paolo, Michael, Joel, Ryan, Joseph, Richard, Jonathan, Jeffrey, Noel and Ronald will surely turn a few heads. However, if you actually know someone from APO and don?t want to see what they look like naked, keep silent and enjoy the show.

How to get roses from runners
Plant yourself in front, wear something bright, and reach out to them with open arms. Good looks are an advantage, but not a requirement. If all else fails, resort to the attention-grabbing methods above, or buy yourself a rose and claim that it came from a runner.

How to deal with insecure boyfriends
Assure your boyfriend that you?re there to live the UP tradition. If he still has his doubts, cover your eyes (but peek through your fingers), but roll your eyes as he tosses a couple of sniveling comments at the runners.
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By Bianca Consunji
Philippine Daily Inquirer
source: Last updated 23:11:00 12/05/2008

UP Oblation Run

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